Is porn destroying your marriage? Your romantic relationship? Since his teenage years onwards, Erwin, a therapy client, binges on pornography. Everyday. Almost without fail. “I can’t control it, doc,” he said during a Zoom therapy session. “It’s been a long time now since our baby was born, my wife wants no more sex!” Last year,… Continue reading Is Porn Destroying Your Marriage?
Category: Loneliness
Choose Your Battles
Choose your battles. Say no to nit-picking. Pick only the majors that truly matter. Avoid the minors or trivial. I’m reminded of this saying by Philipp Melanchthon, “In essentials, unity; in nonessentials, liberty; in all things, charity.” A problem that derails this principle is “nit-picking.” Merriam Webster dictionary defines “nit-picking” as …“a minute, and usually… Continue reading Choose Your Battles
Self Image and the Mind
Self-image and the mind go together. What you think about yourself in your mind shapes the way you live. Cecil Osborne, author of the book “The Art of Understanding Yourself,” writes: “The conscious and unconscious feelings you have about yourself constitute your self-image. This self-image you will act out in life. You will always tend… Continue reading Self Image and the Mind
Love Is The Medicine
Love is the medicine. Healing love in a birthday poem of a husband to his wife. Yes, during the Covid year 2020. See how this healing love looks and feels like in the said poem: “A long time ago, I was a lonely man. A very broken man. Walks were filled with tears flowing from… Continue reading Love Is The Medicine
Daily Walks Clear Your Mind
Do you know that daily walks clear your mind? Yes, daily walks. About 20 minutes or so. That is proven to be therapeutic and health-maintaining. “Solvitur ambulando,” Saint Augustine once remarked. In plain English, it translates “It is solved by walking.” I walk each day. Usually, after my writing and therapy work, I take my… Continue reading Daily Walks Clear Your Mind
Mistakes Don’t Make You A Loser
Believe it, mistakes don’t make you a loser. The truth is, you are allowed to make mistakes even on your own. There will surely be hits and misses. Give yourself permission to make heaps of them. You are allowed to be imperfect. You are human. Mistakes don’t make you a loser. The earlier you realize… Continue reading Mistakes Don’t Make You A Loser
The Psychological Wound of Perfectionism
The psychological wound of perfectionism is a secret wound that cries for help. Brandon and Betty are a gifted couple. They’re high scale in accomplishments in their respective fields. Brandon, in sports and corporate life. Betty, in art and academics. They’re a power couple. Then one day, they came to see me.Their life went tumbling… Continue reading The Psychological Wound of Perfectionism
Rome Wasn’t Built in a Day
A popular saying is, “Rome wasn’t built in a day.” It’s simply one expression of an undeniable fact-of-life. Essential, worthy things do take time. It entails process. Enough waiting. Especially about things that matter in our lives, such as our health or relationships. Especially about things that naturally evolve and grow, like our brains or… Continue reading Rome Wasn’t Built in a Day
You Repeat What You Don’t Repair
Here’s a common sight in psychotherapy: You repeat what you don’t repair. When things remain unresolved, that’s when history can automatically repeat itself. Often. Sonny is beaten up by his girlfriend. Both verbally and physically. After almost a year, he has decided to break up with her. What took him that long? There’s a logical… Continue reading You Repeat What You Don’t Repair
Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy
Are you ready to stop being your own worst enemy? The question reminds me of the old Winnie the Pooh book/movie. In a conversation about who the real enemy is, Winnie the Pooh, a talented poet, simply points that the real “enemy is you!” Your own self can be your greatest enemy when you need… Continue reading Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy
