Is porn destroying your marriage? Your romantic relationship?
Since his teenage years onwards, Erwin, a therapy client, binges on pornography. Everyday. Almost without fail.
“I can’t control it, doc,” he said during a Zoom therapy session. “It’s been a long time now since our baby was born, my wife wants no more sex!”
Last year, during the first weeks of Covid, his wife found out and caught him in the act. Hell broke loose! They’ve been separated since then.
Trust is a #1 source of damage of the problematic use of pornography in marriage.
Pornography breaks marital trust. The sneaking around, the shame, the secrecy, isolation, and lies. It wounds and hurts so deeply.
But even if the porn is not kept secret, experts say it’s still damaging to husband and wife. The porn use snowballs into all other types of problems or issues in the marriage.
Writer Marni Feurman, in an article posted at VeryWellMind, identifies some other reasons how pornography can destroy your marriage, aside from breaking of trust, namely:
• porn use decreases satisfaction in marital sex
• porn use obstructs emotional intimacy
• porn use creates unrealistic expectations
• porn use decreases self esteem
Is porn destroying your marriage? Know how to understand it better.
Dr. Patrick Carnes, a well known sex addiction therapist and author, writes that pornography for addicts was already a way to “anesthetize emotional pain.”
He writes, in his book “Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction:”
“Sexual addiction is a pathological relationship with a mood altering experience … Sex addicts have lost control over their ability to say no; they have lost control over their ability to choose. Their sexual behavior is part of a cycle of thinking, feeling, and acting, which they cannot control.”
It’s a serious mental health problem when pornography becomes a way to get through life’s difficulties and problems.
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