What is this so-called the “therapeutic relationship?”
That kind of interpersonal link between therapist and client or patient.
“Fellow travelers,” described Dr. Irvin Yalom.
Over history, the “therapeutic relationship” has been described in varied forms or ways.
Patient – Therapist.
Client – Counselor.
Client – Facilitator.
Analysand – Analyst.
Client – Facilitator.
User – Provider.
Gosh, that last one repulses me!
I like best Dr. Yalom’s description of the “therapeutic relationship” as “Fellow Travelers” in the theatre of life.
It accurately conveys the nature and dynamic of my own relationship with those I meet in-sessions.
The therapist and the client are both humans in the journey called life.
There’s no distinction between the “afflicted” (clients) and “us” (therapist healers).
One time, I felt impaired in front of a mother-son client during session.
I was being “preachy” and difficult to converse with as I found myself feeling unloving and disrespectful towards them.
I was being revengeful for their being demanding, shallow, and overly anxious during sessions.
It’s a moment of regret for me after the fact. My impaired empathy exposed the vulnerability I had to work on.
As a psychotherapist, my own humanity does likewise struggle with feelings, distortions, unconscious reactions, unresolved conflicts, misperceptions, antagonism, and subjective attitudes.
I once counseled a couple client, Mario and Melissa, for two years.
I genuinely liked them and they’d become friends with me to a certain extent, in a way.
I feel sad at times that I can just only know them as clients because I’d very much enjoy their friendship and tell them about my story.
Undesirable complications in therapy?
Not really. It’s an enrichment.
The humanity of both therapist and client is a real asset in the promotion of a true healing encounter.
We are all into this together.
As psychologist Dr. Jeffrey Kottler would put it in his practice, “Only when we are willing to identify and explore how we feel about our clients … can we ever hope to harness this energy constructively.”
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