How can you deceive your self? Francois de la Rouchefoucald once wrote, “We are so used to disguising ourselves from others that we end up disguising ourselves from ourselves.” One time, I was speaking to two lawyers. Husband and wife. In a marital therapy session. The wife showed pictures, text messages, and even a video… Continue reading How Can You Deceive Your Self?
Category: Depression
Do Beat Your Fears
Do beat your fears! According to well known psychologist and author Dr. Dan Neuharth, fears are “perceived deficits.” Ignore it? Hide it? Deny it? Look the other way? Pretend? Overreact? Narcotize it? If you try any of these, you’re not overcoming your fears. Instead, you risk alienating and harming your self. Nurse Leo was the brother… Continue reading Do Beat Your Fears
You Can’t Control Other People
You can’t control other people. It’s a basic fact about humans. In my psychotherapy work, it’s a common symptom of mental disorders: to be controlling of others and their actions. People often neglect, deny, or ignore it. Or, just honestly unaware of what it is. The personal fallout is inevitable: unnecessary suffering. Ongoing misery. Martha is… Continue reading You Can’t Control Other People
How Can I Solve A Problem For You?
How can I solve a problem for you? Maybe you have a problem that keeps you awake at night. You feel your life will change when that problem stops being a problem. Candy, 31, has been in recovery from addiction to drugs and alcoholism for 5 years. She took her first drug and booze together… Continue reading How Can I Solve A Problem For You?
Slips As A Learning Experience
In addiction psychotherapy, slips as a learning experience is a key healing factor. A “slip” is usually defined as a brief return to one’s abused drug-of-choice – a damaging chemical, object, feeling, behavior, or relationship. A client, David, was into weekly casual sex with males picked up in spas or public restrooms. He’d usually get… Continue reading Slips As A Learning Experience
Are You Narcotizing Your Inner Problems?
Are you narcotizing your inner problems? I mean by the use of drugs, alcohol, over-busyness, casual sex, and in sundry different ways. Worldwide, people spend billions of dollars on alcohol and drugs. All, in an effort to escape inner problems. Alcohol and drugs tend to lessen anxiety temporarily. But they paralyze the higher brain centers where… Continue reading Are You Narcotizing Your Inner Problems?
To Forgive Is Letting Go Of Past Hurts
To forgive is letting go of past hurts. Forgiveness and your past hurts. They do seem to always conflict. Let’s understand a bit more here this known scientific healing factor called forgiveness. And how it relates to past hurts – whether it’s for self-forgiveness or other-forgiveness. Remember Timon and Pumba from The Lion King? They… Continue reading To Forgive Is Letting Go Of Past Hurts
How to Survive Infidelity
For the betrayed and the wayward spouse/partner, there are basic steps on how to survive infidelity. This is what I cover at the outset when counseling couples wounded by infidelity or extramarital affairs. The basic steps help the couple get some distance from their emotional reactivity. It’s foundational so they can bring initial equilibrium in… Continue reading How to Survive Infidelity
Patient Ghosting in Therapy
Patient ghosting in therapy does happen. Ghosting, what ghost? In the context of relationships, including therapist-patient relationship, the word “ghost” (verb) is defined as … “To end a personal relationship with someone suddenly by stopping all communication with them.” Patient ghosting in therapy is disrespect. Impolite. I’ll-mannered. It reflects unfavorably on the patient or person… Continue reading Patient Ghosting in Therapy
Discover Your Wounded Inner Child
Discover your wounded inner child. American author and psychotherapist, Dr. John Bradshaw, explains that, “Any psychological wound that is not properly tended to, especially if it was sustained during youth, is liable to nourish the shadow side of our personality.” Children do get wounded. Emotionally. Psychologically. Physically. As well as spiritually. Often by dysfunctional, toxic parents.… Continue reading Discover Your Wounded Inner Child
