Other people is not your problem. You cannot fix others. Really, that’s the truth. Once I saw a patient I’d call Willy. He’s a very angry man. He’s easily “triggered.” He shouts at his wife and kids and says hurting words to them. Multiple times, he gets involved in fistfights with neighbors or other drivers… Continue reading Other People Is Not Your Problem
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Love Yourself To Heal Your Life
Love yourself to heal your life. How do you think about yourself? “Don’t doc! I’m not that pretty. I’m not that good you say I am!” blurts Imelda during our Skype session. Thing is, it’s not a one-time comment she’d make in our work together. She’d repeatedly point that out over and over again in… Continue reading Love Yourself To Heal Your Life
No Human Can Complete You
Ultimately, no human can complete you. “You complete me” is a popular saying in romantic or marital love. You hear it from lovers. As one “effect” or result, people can become too desperate to find their “other half“ – their “someone special.” It’s a belief imprinted on us by culture, such as from film and… Continue reading No Human Can Complete You
Notice Your Internal Resistance
It’s a common, recurring roadblock in psychotherapy: to fail to notice your internal resistance. Mostly, the resistance is unconscious. Very much “under the surface.” Internal resistance is essentially psychological. An inner device. And it can take the form of varied disguises, depending on the person. Take Liza, for instance. She committed sexual infidelities with tens… Continue reading Notice Your Internal Resistance
Why Is Willpower Not Working?
Why is willpower not working? I’m reminded of a patient I’ll call Jenny. She wanted out of her sexual addiction involving multiple casual partners. Even with married men and co-addicts. She’s big in willpower. At the start of her psychotherapy work. “I can do it. Stop this shit in my life!” she’d say during one… Continue reading Why Is Willpower Not Working?
Make No One A Project
Make no one a project. You are your only project. Stop or refuse making your spouse your project. Nor is your child, friend, brother/sister, parent, or any other person. Catch it deeply, dear. It’s life. It’s health-giving. Imelda “dances around” the life of her husband and children. They’re her center. Time came when all her… Continue reading Make No One A Project
Will You Want To Get Well?
Will you want to get well? Sounds a strange question. You may be surprised many do, but in reality they don’t know that they actually don’t want to. They blame others. They make excuses. They play the victim role. Dr. Bruce Larson, in his book “There’s A Lot More To Health Than Not Being Sick,”… Continue reading Will You Want To Get Well?
Psychotherapy Of Right Work
The psychotherapy of right work or livelihood means it’s more than money. Work needs to fit you and your talents. It needs to provide you with passion, meaning, and fulfillment. Work that’s right for you is as important as the right food nutrients for your body. Or, the right shoes to wear for your feet.… Continue reading Psychotherapy Of Right Work
Dealing With Isolation
I’ve been thinking today of dealing with isolation. It appears uniform of the day again. With the worsening Covid crisis, there has been renewed quarantines and lockdowns. How do we face this? Understanding how isolation affects our health can be a relevant first step for self care. Dr. Philip Zimbardo, a psychology professor at Stanford… Continue reading Dealing With Isolation
Searching For Meaning This Pandemic
Nowadays, people are restless – searching for meaning this pandemic. Questions abound. What’s the purpose of life with all these crises and uncertainties? Where do I go? Are my priorities still holding? How should I feel? “It’s almost 2 years now, this Covid thing. Times when I just stare at anything. And freeze. I can’t… Continue reading Searching For Meaning This Pandemic
