Take notice what you fail to notice is a must. That is, if you are to heal and change in your life.
Psychiatrist and author, Dr. R.D. Laing describes how hard it is to “take notice.”
“The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice. And because we fail to notice that we fail to notice, there is little we can do to change … until we notice how failing to notice shapes our thoughts and deeds.”
A mental health patient asked, “I can’t understand myself. How come I always hurt and abandon women? Only to hurt myself afterwards?”
The man is suffering from something big. Something he continues to fail to notice within himself. It feels elusive to him.
But the fact is, he is not condemned. Never, to know this dark side of himself. He can know it so he can heal and change.
Recognizing your shadow is a first step. To discover your whole being.
That’s where you practice noticing. Especially noticing what you’ve been failing to notice for a long time.
Yesterday, Martha has started practicing noticing. Bit by bit. As far as she’s able at the moment …
She avoids certain topics. Topics like sexuality, self worth, parents, faith.
So here is a clue for Martha’s practice of noticing.
She can proceed to be certain at one point that what she avoids reveals some fear.
A fear of uncovering a side of her self and life that she’s ashamed of.
It’s her door to what’s real and true. And … her healing and wholeness.
“Our carping criticisms of other people are really nothing but unrecognized bits of autobiography. If you want to know what a person is really like, listen to what he says about other people.” – KEN Wilber