Will you want to get well? Sounds a strange question.
You may be surprised many do, but in reality they don’t know that they actually don’t want to.
They blame others.
They make excuses.
They play the victim role.
Dr. Bruce Larson, in his book “There’s A Lot More To Health Than Not Being Sick,” writes,
“Most psychiatrists, psychologists, and therapists know they are working with many conflicting factors in the patient, not the least of which is the ‘will.’ In fact it has been such a neglected dimension of therapy that someone has called the ‘will’ the Cinderella of modern psychology.”
A patient of mine, Leonor (not her real name), has had crippling bouts with depression, anxiety, and panic.
She’s been into psychiatric medication for long stretches of time. And she’s still not getting well. She’s actually getting dangerously worst.
“I feel helpless, my mother did this to me. So every time someone criticizes me at work I get ballistic. They should be kind to me,” she said during a Viber therapy session.
During our sessions, Leonor would take down notes of what we process, some she’d call “brilliant insights.”
Yet her thoughts would always reinforce her “helpless victim” attitude. She’s stuck, locked into her old patterns.
A part of her wants to remain a “victim.” And psychologically, she has to get some cooperation and corroboration from me as her therapist.
Of course, I’ve to tell her honestly that something is wrong. Not “conspire” with her. To help her get well, though not necessarily feel better.
The fact is, Leonor will get well if she wants to get well.
Dr. Erik Erickson, one of Freud’s most noted disciples, said that we can transcend our childhood to a very large extent.
He emphasized that it happens only when we choose who we will be and what we will be.
“Will” to get well. And doing what it takes.
That means …
You stop blaming.
You stop making excuses.
You stop playing the victim game.
Will you want to get well?
Choose life and health.
See also this post.