The illusion of control was something I could do little about for Alan.
Alan was 40 and had been referred to me by a medical doctor from a large hospital.
I only had a first session with him. He refused to cooperate in therapy.
He came to me in extremis – abandonment of his wife and kids, emotional wounds from his own infidelities, loss of employment, deaths of his parents, among others.
From his recent loss, Alan began to experience frequent nightmares and out of control anger bursts and depressive moods.
His health was fast breaking down. He could not function anymore due to his fears and anxieties.
Given his background, Alan hated to be helpless and restrained. He’s been on his own since leaving home during his teenage years.
Though he’s a person of dire need of psychological healing, his fear of being dependent and treated ignited terror.
It created internal resistance. Cold illusions of strength he clings to, since most of his life he had been “independent.”
He believed in his self-reliance and specialness to take control of anything.
His discomfort or resistance to psychotherapy/healing was a clear displacement of his fears and anxieties.
Alan continued to set sail alone. In escalating misery that he obviously couldn’t handle.
Author Bryant McGill insightfully writes about the topic of “illusion of control,” saying …
“When you surrender and release the illusion of control, you begin to free-fall toward your destiny of a grand reunion with your original-self; a self uncorrupted by the world’s false lessons of fear and control.”
If you want to heal and be whole, drop the illusion of control.
Let life finally have you.