Maturing adults leave home psychologically. Dr. Paul Tournier was a wise and well known Swiss psychiatrist. He’s a master of healing broken individuals towards becoming whole persons. “Become your own person” was one of Dr. Tournier’s key psychological healing principles. He spoke of “taking off “ parental injunctions in applying that principle. Last night, I… Continue reading Leave Home Psychologically
Beat your approval addiction. Screw what people say! Sounds harsh? It could save your life! Gigi, a dutiful daughter and medical student, was sharing with me how she grew up to be a “pleaser.” She derived much of her self worth from the approval of people around her. She’s so worried about keeping her parents… Continue reading Beat Your Approval Addiction
Dysfunctional, offensive people need confrontation that heals best. And that is, when it serves love. My client, Bobby, 29, struggled with stopping and confronting his mother who continually abused him – physically, verbally, and emotionally. He wanted very much to establish firm, healthy boundaries. But his mother never honored it. She went on violating his… Continue reading Confrontation That Heals Best
If you are anxious, depressed, or emotionally down, practice thought stopping. It’s one of those recognized psychological first-aid how-tos that can be useful in multiple situations. For instance, my client Riza always breaks down whenever her mother shouts at and verbally abuses her. Her confessed self-talk has always been “I’m no good! No one accepts… Continue reading Practice Thought Stopping
Strive for excellence, not perfection. People often confuse striving for perfection with striving for excellence. “I’m driven to super-achieve. Lately I hate myself. My work is not ok with me despite what I’ve accomplished so far and what my boss is saying.” That’s Odessa, a talented client who’s chronically depressed and always feeling little joy… Continue reading Strive for Excellence, Not Perfection
Healing is often a journey to learn how to forgive your self. “I’ve done a mortal mistake in my marriage doc, and my kids have become alienated to me. I can’t forgive my self,” shared Ricky during a Zoom therapy session. Ricky’s traumatic experiences happened 10 years ago. And he continues to still beat himself… Continue reading How To Forgive Your Self
Can you know the whole truth, and nothing but the the truth? Psychotherapy is about truth. Yes, nothing but the whole truth. Knowing it. Understanding it. Applying it in one’s life. Truth produces mental health and emotional well being. So what is truth then? Truth is reality as it is. Not as it seems to… Continue reading Can You Know The Whole Truth?
Do you think about the work you do? I mean, loving what you do. Consciously choosing it. And, finding meaning in your life through it. Last night, over Viber, I was speaking to a young man, Bobby, about his job. He’s struggling. Having employment-related anxiety and panic attacks. He had to take an indefinite leave… Continue reading Think About The Work You Do
Is it love or is it addiction? Mental health is knowing and practicing how to be a whole person. That’s right: whole, not broken. Addiction is not love. You’re not whole when you’re addicted. Shiela is broken. Not whole. She’s convinced that she’ll suffer or even die without a man in her life. Over our… Continue reading Is It Love or Is It Addiction?
Keep hope strong or disease sets in. A “Broken Heart” study and its results was once published in the New York magazine. The study researched the mortality rate of 4,500 widowers within 6 months of their wives’ deaths. The findings? The widowers had a mortality rate 40% higher than all the other men of the… Continue reading Keep Hope Strong or Disease Sets In