Understand your transference. Dr. Jacqueline Olds, Dr. Richard Schwartz, and Harriet Webster, in their book “Overcoming Loneliness in Everyday Life,” write: “Transference is actually a simple concept. It means that we are not capable of experiencing a relationship as genuinely new and completely free of distortions. Instead, our experience with people in the present is… Continue reading Understand Your Transference
Category: Sex Addiction Therapy
Get Over Your Pride
When you get over your pride, you begin to heal and grow. Countless people struggle with this though. It’s a common and widespread source of personal brokenness. It is of two kinds: good and bad. It’s good, for instance, when you feel proud of your kid’s medals or accomplishing something to save people’s lives. Get… Continue reading Get Over Your Pride
Avoid Premature Termination
People heal in psychotherapy when they avoid premature termination. Therapist Dr. Ryan Hooper defines “premature termination” in psychotherapy as: “a patient’s decision to end therapy, contrary to both the therapist’s current recommendation and the initial agreement between therapist and patient” If you’re going through therapy right now, it’s important that you understand “premature termination” and… Continue reading Avoid Premature Termination
Find Purpose In The Pain
Find purpose in the pain. I once heard the Pope praying that he dies quickly when it’s his time without the pain. “I’m not very good at pain,” he’d admit. In my psychotherapy work, people hate pain. The pain of their emotional wounds. Their trauma in life. “I feel a lot of pain. Cant sleep.… Continue reading Find Purpose In The Pain
Therapy Is An Evolution
Remember this: therapy is an evolution. Very much like many other essential aspects of life. Andrew, a teen patient beginning his therapy, cried during our Skype session. “Last night, I just got bored and went to that site again. I’m losing hope. I can’t control my craving and urge, so I keep slipping. I feel… Continue reading Therapy Is An Evolution
There Will Be Hard Days
There will be hard days. But they won’t last forever. Such as these difficult 2020 and 2021 years of the ongoing Covid pandemic. This too shall pass. In the meantime, as the world changes, people change. Many of life’s deepest lessons and realizations that rush upon us these trying times are simply not attainable during… Continue reading There Will Be Hard Days
Resist Addictive Cravings
Addicts need strategies to resist addictive cravings. Without it, relapses are bound to get out of control. Ray was a porn and sex addict. When he started therapy, he essentially had no strategies in place to manage his addiction. For instance, the matter of “decoding feelings.” Ray’s sex is about addiction, not about healthy sexuality.… Continue reading Resist Addictive Cravings
How Do You Deal With Toxic Behaviors?
How do you deal with toxic behaviors? Henry has a sister with a bad mouth. She criticizes, judges, and puts people down. Henry visits his bedridden 85-year-old Mom. His Mom lives with his sister who mistreats and lashes out at her daily. How does Henry deal with the toxic behaviors of his sister? This is… Continue reading How Do You Deal With Toxic Behaviors?
Understanding Shame and Its Cure
Psychotherapy is the business of understanding shame and its cure. “I feel ashamed,” said a teenager about his years of pornography habit. “It gets me to think of killing my self.” In my life when I was a teenager, I got hooked in chess and collecting chess books. I played in tournaments and needed resources… Continue reading Understanding Shame and Its Cure
Practice Affirming the Unaffirmed
Practice affirming the unaffirmed. It can be a most important single factor in effective psychotherapy. Harry was a mental health worker in a psych facility. He didn’t train in psychotherapy. But he knew what to give to a mentally disturbed person. One of the sickest patients he had was a psychotic woman. She’s been there… Continue reading Practice Affirming the Unaffirmed
