How do you deal with toxic behaviors?
Henry has a sister with a bad mouth. She criticizes, judges, and puts people down.
Henry visits his bedridden 85-year-old Mom. His Mom lives with his sister who mistreats and lashes out at her daily.
How does Henry deal with the toxic behaviors of his sister?
This is a pretty difficult and complicated situation for Henry. It’s so since it’s family, which he can’t avoid seeing.
How do you deal with toxic behaviors?
In Healthline, Barrie Sueskind, a therapist based in Los Angeles USA, wrote about 17 things we can do in dealing with toxic, problematic behaviors.
Here they are in a “capsule,” which can be taken accordingly based on situation:
1. Avoid playing into their reality.
2. Don’t get drawn in.
3. Pay attention to how they make you feel.
4. Talk to them about their behavior.
5. Put your self first.
6. Say No and walk away.
7. Remember, you aren’t at fault.
8. Make your self unavailable.
9. Limit your time together.
10. Set boundaries.
11. Have an exit strategy.
12. Change your routine.
13. Encourage them to get help.
14. Don’t get personal.
15. Maintain calm.
16. Stay grounded.
17. Focus on your bottom line.
Henry did confront his sister regarding her continuing toxic behaviors as calmly and kindly as possible. He encouraged her to seek help.
Unfortunately, she denied the reality of his concerns. Rationalized around it. And criticized and blamed him instead.
In response, Henry simply made clear to her what he will not tolerate. He set boundaries. And ultimately, he had to say no to her abuses and walk away.
“No matter how much you love the person, you cannot change them. You may influence them; but at the end of the day, they must decide for themselves.” – Robert Baines Jr.
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