There will be hard days. But they won’t last forever.
Such as these difficult 2020 and 2021 years of the ongoing Covid pandemic.
This too shall pass.
In the meantime, as the world changes, people change.
Many of life’s deepest lessons and realizations that rush upon us these trying times are simply not attainable during comfortable times.
In the movie, “The Pursuit of Happyness,” Will Smith played the role of Chris Gardner, a jobless, poverty-stricken father to his son from a broken marriage.
In the book, Chris Gardner writes of one of his lessons and realizations during those hard days:
“Others may question your credentials, your papers, your degrees. Others may look for all kinds of ways to diminish your worth. But what is inside you no one can take from you or tarnish. This is your worth, who you really are, your degree that can go with you wherever you go, that you bring with you the moment you come into a room, that can’t be manipulated or shaken. Without that sense of self, no amount of paper, no pedigree, and no credentials can make you legit. No matter what, you have to feel legit inside first.”
I’ve had a couple, Ray and Riza, who saw me for two years. Ray had an affair. And Riza was going crazy. They worked to heal their marriage.
It’s a most difficult time in their lives. Both of them nearly committed suicide. There were many hard days when they almost gave up.
My contribution to Ray and Riza was often to urge them to risk recollecting themselves.
In chemistry, there is this process of compounds being “broken” into its separate component parts. So they can be seen in the light.
In my couple therapy sessions with Ray and Riza, that was successfully done to end their hard days.
Besides possibilities, they saw life’s deepest lessons and realities from their past. Not only the enduring love and sufferings they suffered.
They resolved the problem of meaning in their marriage and lives. How? By joining the disparate parts of their selves and lives into a coherent whole.
There will be hard days. But they won’t last forever.
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