Remember this: therapy is an evolution. Very much like many other essential aspects of life.
Andrew, a teen patient beginning his therapy, cried during our Skype session.
“Last night, I just got bored and went to that site again. I’m losing hope. I can’t control my craving and urge, so I keep slipping. I feel like quitting!”
Andrew gets impatient. He wants results right away. He demands that his porn addiction disappear now.
Before you’re ready to significantly heal from psychological wounds, there is an evolution that must take place.
It takes enough time. There’s a natural progression.
And it’s no shock to you that such evolution is not going to be easy.
That’s the reason why it’s critical to have a positive, nourishing mindset.
Shaping that positive, nourishing mindset begins with recognizing and overcoming your internal fears and resistance.
Understand and embrace that there are “stages” in evolutionary life change.
Essentially, you must recognize and accept not only where you are now. But also … where you want to go, and what it takes to get there.
You may find it helpful to visualize it according to the “trans-theoretical model” of the stages of change, as the diagram below shows:
Take note that to advance through these evolutionary stages of personal change, we apply cognitive, affective, and evaluative processes.
To make and maintain change, these processes result in strategies. The trans theoretical model cites them as follows:
• consciousness raising
• dramatic relief
• self reevaluation
• environmental reevaluation
• self liberation
• social liberation
• helping relationships
• counter conditioning
• reinforcement management
• stimulus control
There it is: therapy is an evolution.
Sometimes the process of growth looks a lot like destruction and pain. But you’ll realize with time that you’re not breaking; you’re healing.” — Brittany Burgunder