Behavior that is observed changes. We can call it accountability.
Those who choose to be accountable for change have the greatest hope for change.
One time, a close cousin of a future patient, Roel, saw me at the Holiday Inn. To plan for “rehab” of Roel from womanizing, financial debts, domestic violence, and alcoholism.
This cousin along with the other key members of their large clan had decided to put Roel into an accountability psychotherapy.
They asked me to do the therapy with Roel. And they’ll see to it that the family members participate in the process.
In numerous instances, Roel’s cousins, wife and kids, parents, siblings, and the clan’s patriarch joined him on board during sessions.
After two years, Roel was restored and became a changed man. It’s a sight many in the family had not expected enough.
A big part of it was Roel’s choice to finally be accountable in his process.To those who care for and love him.
One noted psychotherapist-author writes:
“ … Behavioral sciences in recent years have expounded the simple truth that ‘behavior that is observed changes.’ People who are accountable by their own choice to a group of friends, to a therapy group, to a psychiatrist or a pastoral counselor, to a study group or prayer group, are people who are serious about changing their behavior, and they are finding that change is possible. Studies done in factories have proven that both quality and quantity of work increase when the employees know that they are being observed.”
Left on his own, Roel was bound to make all kinds of excuses for himself. But since he had to report to the rest of his big family clan, he started to monitor his behavior.
When Roel realized that people who love him were keeping an eye on him, his behavior and perspective improved.