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Stop Fighting To Connect

Stop fighting to connect to your difficult adult child. 

Do you have a difficult or alienated adult child? So how do you deal with the situation?

There is pain in one’s aching, empty heart because it involves your adult child. 

But there are do’s and dont’s we can follow in regard to the issue of connection.

Do not pursue.
Do not beg. Do not harass. Do not threaten.  Do not blame. Do not criticize. Do not pressure. Do not censure. Do not resent. Do not guilt-trip.

These are the psychologically  healthy “don’ts” to stop fighting to connect, especially to a difficult or alienated child.

“I’ll disinherit you, you won’t get any money from me till you come home,” said a Mom pressuring her daughter to reconnect. 

stop fighting to connect
Photo: Good Therapy

The pressure tactics didn’t work. The daughter only became more angry, resentful, rebellious, and resistant.

Here then are some psychologically healthy “do’s” that would be more facilitating and helpful to heal hurts or revive connection:

  • Do keep the lines of communication open with your adult child.
  • Do always welcome them in your heart and home.
  • Do smile and act happy.
  • Do take care of your self.
  • Do be active and involved in life.
  • Do be the person your child would be proud to connect to.
  • Do treat yourself well.
  • Do be forgiving. Forgiveness makes your heart open, in case they return.
  • Do strengthen your other relationships, giving and receiving love.
  • Do love God and experience His love moment by moment.

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