How do you deal with a jerk?
Mental health is often damaged and wounded by people who offend or wrong you.
As psychiatrist and author, Dr. Paul Meier, once advised in dealing with impossible people,
“It’s a jungle out there, and it’s full of jerks!”
Dr. Meier defines being a “jerk” as “exhibiting any selfish thoughts or behavior that are ultimately harmful to someone.”
A “jerk” is anyone who selfishly uses or abuses others in any way, shape, or form.
Last night, Mando shared during our Skype session,
“My father is a jerk. A very critical, offending person. I wish he’s dead!”
Jerky parents are common!
But in his years of bitterness and anger, Mando developed severe addictions to sex, drugs, and alcohol.
I don’t know how many of you has reached this point of brokenness from jerks in your life.
But do see and realize how destructive it is to your life if you leave it unresolved.
Life is too short. To be continually offended, damaged, or wounded. It only hurts you.
Author Craig Groeschel teaches,
“You’re going to be offended. It’s inevitable. But living offended is a choice.”
But, exactly how do you deal with a jerk? An impossible person in your life? So you can choose not to live life continually offended.
In Scriptures, the writer of Proverbs says,
“Good sense and discretion make a man slow to anger, and it is his honor and glory to overlook a transgression or offense …” (19:11)
The Apostle Paul gives a practical recommendation when faced with difficult, impossible people,
“If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” (Romans 12:18)
You can choose to get past the offense or wrongs of a jerky person. Within your mind, heart, and soul.
Overlooking offense though does not necessarily mean reconciliation. It does not mean denying or ignoring the reality of the wrongs done.
Remember that it takes only one person to forgive even love. You choose not to be proud. And not be conceited.
You choose to overlook the transgressions or abuses of a jerk. And move on with your life while settling healthy boundaries.
Another aspect or angle in this discussion is further explained by Dr. Meier,
“If I am willing to admit my lack of perfection, then I must go on to admit that part of me is a jerk, just as part of everyone that I’m going to love or be loved by, deal with or work with, or even go to church with, is going to be a jerk, at least to some degree. Reality says I’m going to be a jerk to some people, and they’re going to be jerks to me. That’s not necessarily okay, but it is reality, and we are all going to have to live with this jerky reality until we get to heaven.”