Forgive but also face the facts.
Forgiveness is a major key to healing deep psychological wounds.
Psychology, science, and medicine now strongly assert that forgiveness is imperative to mental health.
That’s why it’s important to have a right and clear understanding of this one important tool in psychotherapy.
Mary was physically beaten and emotionally abused by her father. Since childhood and a part of her teenage years.
The abuse got too severe. That forced Mary to run away from home. Escape to the city, get work to support her self.
“I want to forgive my father, but I just can’t,” she’d share during her Viber sponsored therapy hour.
Forgiveness and reconciliation are two different, separate constructs.
Forgiving one who abused you doesn’t mean being fast friends with the abuser.
In fact, in most cases, you will need to keep away from the one who abused or wronged you.
Avoid. Social distance. If necessary, change locations, houses, jobs, or routes you walk on regularly.
That’s wisdom. Especially in relation to unrepentant abusers who can do you further harm.
Forgiveness is a one-way inner process. Whether or not the offender repents or changes. Forgiving is for yourself. Not for the other person.
Forgive but also face the facts.
If you need further help to understand how to forgive, one or the most helpful books is “Free to Forgive” by Dr. Meier and Dr. Minirth, both well known psychiatrists and co-authors.
The book contains 365 brief pointers for learning how to deal with those tough-to-get-rid-of grudges that you may still be carrying.
“At that moment when I was able to forgive, my hatred disappeared … Forgiveness is the key which unlocks the door of resentment and the handcuffs of hatred. It is a power that breaks the chains of bitterness and the shackles of selfishness. What liberation it is when you forgive.” — Corrie Ten Boom
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