Ultimately, no human can complete you.
“You complete me” is a popular saying in romantic or marital love. You hear it from lovers.
As one “effect” or result, people can become too desperate to find their “other half“ – their “someone special.”
It’s a belief imprinted on us by culture, such as from film and literature. It actually echoes a tale in Greek philosophy.
But is the belief true?
Rowena was understandably devastated. Her boyfriend of 5 years fled to another country and broke up with her.
I strove to process with Rowena her emotional wound during our Skype sessions.
But after only a couple of sessions, she got hospitalized for attempting suicide. The loss was too overwhelming for her.
In my psychotherapy practice, I’ve met and talked with countless individuals, like Rowena, who felt so incomplete with the loss of a partner.
They can’t live or work anymore on a daily basis. They break down almost uncontrollably.
As psychologist and author Dr. Marsha Sinetar observes,
“Whatever the scenario, our need for love and belonging can be so strong that it blinds us to our most valuable talents and qualities. We then live a life of pretense and self-negation. Of course, our working life will suffer also, because it is but a part of our life as a whole.”
Marriage or having a love partner is good. Having a child, career, family, fame, or money is good.
But ultimately, no fellow human or earthly experience/acquisition can complete you.
They’re temporary and limited. They can only go so far.
To complete you, it’s actually not someone or something you’re missing. It’s Someone.
“For in Christ lives all the fullness of God in a human body. So you also are complete through your union with Christ” (Colossians 2:9–10)