Do a relationship health check-up.
Relationships are essential to mental health. They’ve to be nourished or they wilt and die eventually.
It’s true whatever is the type of the relationship – between spouses, parents and children, friends, co-workers etc.
Relationships suffer when they fail to “evolve.” Which is a basic part of its nourishment and developmental growth.
“I think my Mom will deny. How much she hurts my feelings. She’s been doing it for years now, playing favoritism when I’m the one mostly taking care of her. I just keep silent,” shared Roberta about her 69-year-old mother during our Viber session.
To ”evolve,” Roberta’s relationship with her mother needs a real check-up to help it grow forward. It should reflect each one’s status as an adult – both mother and daughter within the relationship dynamic.
Here is one example of a parent-adult child relationship where there is experienced dissatisfaction. Goodwill erodes when it continues to be hidden.
It must had not occurred to Roberta’s mother to check in with her adult daughter about the health of their relationship.
Many parents are known to have this default tendency.
They just rely on old, solidified childhood psychological and behavioral dynamics in dealing with their adult children, which don’t fit anymore.
It’s important then to take time to assess what is and what is not working in any relationship. That requires calm, open communication to shift the dynamic.
Intentionality in increasing amounts in “making the implicit explicit” can go a long way.
As it does, there is an expected discomfort. But it’s only temporal. Short-term discomfort makes way for long-term comfort and harmony.
Make it a habit to do a relationship health check-up.
“ … nourishing relationships have a beneficial impact on our health, while toxic ones can act like slow poison in our bodies.”
— Daniel Goleman, author ”Emotional Intelligence,” psychologist, journalist
From “Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships”