What Keeps A Marriage Going?

What keeps a marriage going?

Throughout the world, countless marriages are short-lived. In the US, studies show an average of 9.4 years marital life span.

Marriage nowadays is truly a matter of life or divorce.

To find out what keeps a marriage going, Drs. Jeanette and Robert Lauer studied 300 couples married after 15 or more years together and still happily married.

Here some “top reasons” they discovered:

• My spouse is my best friend.

• I like my spouse as a person.

• Marriage is sacred.

• We agree on aims and goals.

• My spouse has grown more interesting.

• We laugh together.

• I am proud of my spouse’s achievements.

• We agree about our sex life.

• We agree on how and how often to show affection.

• I confide in my spouse.

• We share outside hobbies and interests.

• We agree on a philosophy of life.

• We have stimulating exchange of ideas.

• We discuss things calmly.

Psychologist Dr. Erik Erikson cites one big factor that keeps marriages together. He writes:

“‘Commitment means a willingness to be unhappy for a while,’ said a man married for more than twenty years. ‘I would go on for years and years being wretched in my marriage. But you can’t avoid troubled times. You’re not going to be happy with each other all the time. That’s when commitment is really important.’ “

One couple, Mary and Gene, shared,

“We found we needed to pray together an hour each morning if we’re to successfully raise ten children.”

What keeps a marriage going?

Intimacy. With all of those factors cited.

It’s a cement of a happy, long-lasting marriage.

Authors and therapists Matthew Linn, Dennis Linn, and Sheila Fabricant said:

“ … intimacy with ourselves is essential to intimacy with others. Such intimacy with ourselves grows as we become aware of our deepest feelings, needs, fears, disappointments and dreams. Without these awarenesses, we will not have a self to give to the other.”

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