It’s a common, recurring roadblock in psychotherapy: to fail to notice your internal resistance. Mostly, the resistance is unconscious. Very much “under the surface.” Internal resistance is essentially psychological. An inner device. And it can take the form of varied disguises, depending on the person. Take Liza, for instance. She committed sexual infidelities with tens… Continue reading Notice Your Internal Resistance
Why is willpower not working? I’m reminded of a patient I’ll call Jenny. She wanted out of her sexual addiction involving multiple casual partners. Even with married men and co-addicts. She’s big in willpower. At the start of her psychotherapy work. “I can do it. Stop this shit in my life!” she’d say during one… Continue reading Why Is Willpower Not Working?
Make no one a project. You are your only project. Stop or refuse making your spouse your project. Nor is your child, friend, brother/sister, parent, or any other person. Catch it deeply, dear. It’s life. It’s health-giving. Imelda “dances around” the life of her husband and children. They’re her center. Time came when all her… Continue reading Make No One A Project
Will you want to get well? Sounds a strange question. You may be surprised many do, but in reality they don’t know that they actually don’t want to. They blame others. They make excuses. They play the victim role. Dr. Bruce Larson, in his book “There’s A Lot More To Health Than Not Being Sick,”… Continue reading Will You Want To Get Well?
I’ve been thinking today of dealing with isolation. It appears uniform of the day again. With the worsening Covid crisis, there has been renewed quarantines and lockdowns. How do we face this? Understanding how isolation affects our health can be a relevant first step for self care. Dr. Philip Zimbardo, a psychology professor at Stanford… Continue reading Dealing With Isolation
Nowadays, people are restless – searching for meaning this pandemic. Questions abound. What’s the purpose of life with all these crises and uncertainties? Where do I go? Are my priorities still holding? How should I feel? “It’s almost 2 years now, this Covid thing. Times when I just stare at anything. And freeze. I can’t… Continue reading Searching For Meaning This Pandemic
Forgiveness does not equal trust. That is inevitable hard reality in human relationships. Since trust is a fragile thing, it needs time and process to be repaired when broken. “Why can’t you move on from here and trust me. I already told you the other woman is gone!” David told his wife Dina during a… Continue reading Forgiveness Does Not Equal Trust
Nowadays, the call is to prepare for possible future crisis. We are living through a deadly global pandemic. That’s just being plain realistic. Facing the facts as they are. To have a plan. To prepare. And to take action as we move along. Mario crashed. He lacked enough cash to feed his family. He lost his… Continue reading Prepare For Possible Future Crisis
A million-dollar question: How do I know my spouse is changing? It’s something that always comes up in marital therapy sessions. The betrayed or victim wonders about it. Reality shows us that change must happen if a broken, wounded relationship is to survive. This is especially applicable to cases of emotional trauma involving infidelity. Can… Continue reading How Do I Know My Spouse Is Changing?
Do you have C-PTSD? PTSD, a known psychiatric diagnostic category, stands for “post-traumatic stress disorder.” The attached C stands for “complex.” Nowadays, the C may stand for “Covid” which is a kind of PTSD. Roberto, all these months of Covid, experiences serious difficulties – physically and mentally. He has difficulties sleeping, eating, and resuming his… Continue reading Do You Have C-PTSD?