My Online Psychotherapy Ph

Need to Impress Others?

Do you feel a need to impress others? Is it a deep thirst for you?

Listen to what Vernon Howard once wrote:

“The need to impress others causes half the world’s woes.”

You hear it right: Need to impress others = Woes.

A common life area where this often happens in people is in the area of externals, such as our possession or appearance.

People seek it with what they own (e.g. nice cars, houses) or how they look (e.g. slim sexy figure, smooth skin).

It seems built-in to the social aspect of human nature. This “need.”

Yet many find themselves struggling or trapped in it. Even unknowingly, if not taken to its proper balance.

By “woes,” Howard may have meant psychopathology too. Or, the side effects of emotional insecurities and excesses.

When a client, Tony, bought that expensive car, he was already deep in debts. His credit, on a fast downward slide.

Why did he make the purchase? He wanted to impress others, including his wife and children, who knew nothing about his finances.

In less than a year, the car was taken by the bank for serious arrears in the installment payments. That’s when Tony’s marital and family problems begun to spiral.

Tony got chronically depressed as a result. He went into frequent drinking in the bar. And, sadly, he almost took his life.

The hard truth is we often try to impress others in the wrong places.

Possessions and appearances don’t last. They rust or fade. And then … the need to impress begs you to begin the cycle again. It’s never ending.

The right places to impress others are found in the “invisible” or “intangible” in us.

Author Joshua Becker gives clues on how to find these “invisibles” and “intangibles” that impress others in a deep, lasting way.

He mentions, among others, things like contentment, generosity, laughing, marital faithfulness, love of kids, modesty, love of life, etc.

Quoting him, Becker talks about “INSPIRING RATHER THAN IMPRESSING OTHERS:”

“Don’t live to impress. Live to inspire. Give up your desire to impress everyone you meet. But never give up your desire to inspire everyone you meet. Of course, the greatest thing … is that you already possess everything you need to inspire others. So why not get started?”
Don’t Live to Impress. Live to Inspire.”

need to impress others


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Online psychotherapy