Be your own person.
Sara, a nurse by profession, once consulted me due to severe depression. Even panic attacks and chemical dependency.
She’s unhappy about her job as a nurse. Sara, an only child, finished her nursing degree just to please her doctor-single Mom.
She wanted to be an artist instead. Pull out of her nursing job in the hospital, leave home, and be on her own.
But she’s struggling to make a transition. She thought that leaving nursing means displeasing and abandoning her Mom.
After several therapy sessions, she felt ready enough to muster enough courage to tell her Mom about her decision and plans.
Sara and Mom had a violent disagreement. A case of a Mom clinging tightly to her adult child who’s striving to spread her wings. That led Sara to run away from home.
A year after that decision, I saw Sara posting and having her own painting exhibits in several prestigious art galleries.
And on FB, Sara proudly posted the picture of her Mom holding an award given to her by a national body of artists.
It was a happy, fulfilling life for Sara. She finally became her own person after many years of struggle and suppression.
Be your own person.
It means you detach from and no longer succumb to the self-serving wishes, control, abuse, or manipulation of anyone.
It means allowing your self to grow into your own skin, and not be an extension of another.
It means honoring your own identity, establishing healthy boundaries, and following your values and inner guide for your choices.
Dr. Elliot Cohen, in a Psychology Today article, explains:
“If you are your own person, then you will be prepared to stand your ground when your principles or values are at stake. This does not mean you must fight every battle to the death, but there will be times when surrendering your values in order to avoid a difficult situation would be to destroy the personal dignity that is requisite to being your own person.”
Are you your own person?
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