My Online Psychotherapy Ph

Top Secret in Handling Any Relationship

Do you want to know a top secret in handling any relationship?  This is essential, whether your relationship is with your spouse or partner, your parent, your child, or your friend. Ready? Here it is: do not be a hostage-taker! Reality is, many are experts at “hostage-taking” in their relationships. I know you might get… Continue reading Top Secret in Handling Any Relationship

Be Your Own Person

Be your own person. Sara, a nurse by profession, once consulted me due to severe depression. Even panic attacks and chemical dependency. She’s unhappy about her job as a nurse. Sara, an only child, finished her nursing degree just to please her doctor-single Mom. She wanted to be an artist instead. Pull out of her… Continue reading Be Your Own Person

Story of the Lost Wallet

It’s the story of the lost wallet. Psychotherapist and author Dr. John Monbourquette once told this story:      “One beautiful summer evening: a man looked out his window and saw his neighbor on the street, crouched on his hands and knees. He seemed to be looking for something under the street lamp. So the… Continue reading Story of the Lost Wallet

Know Your Shadow

Know your shadow. Unless you do, you can’t be whole. Remember those moments when you you look into the light. Then you become luminous. Those moments are usually preceded by your plunging into the shadow of darkness. This however is not pleasant or pleasurable work of growth. And therefore not a popular road. People deny… Continue reading Know Your Shadow

Are You Here Now?

Are you here now? Life, you know, can be simple. We live in a world of distractions. Our minds drift into different directions. We often miss what we have now … right in front of us. While speaking to a struggling middle-aged couple, Tony and Tina, they couldn’t help but always be distracted. One of… Continue reading Are You Here Now?

Focus on the Process and Not the Result

Problems are better facilitated for resolution when you focus on the process and not the result. Concentrate on process. Detach from outcome. This could be so difficult to do.  Most of us are wired to worry more about the result rather than focus on the process of getting what we want. “I failed my first… Continue reading Focus on the Process and Not the Result

Learn to Let Go and Detach

Life is a constant flow and challenge to learn to let go and detach.  It’s the nature of the temporality of our existence. Mental health is always a process of learning to let go and detach. Tina, one of my long-time psychotherapy patients, was relating about her struggles to let go and detach. She’s imprisoned… Continue reading Learn to Let Go and Detach

Don’t Lie To Your Self

A most important health-giving good you can do to your life is:  Don’t lie to your self. Humanity has a problem. It’s the hardest thing to do for so many of us. As Edward Bulwer-Lytton put it, “The easiest person to deceive is one’s self.” How do you know you’re lying to your self? There… Continue reading Don’t Lie To Your Self

Leave Home Psychologically

Maturing adults leave home psychologically. Dr. Paul Tournier was a wise and well known Swiss psychiatrist. He’s a master of healing broken  individuals towards becoming whole persons. “Become your own person” was one of Dr. Tournier’s key psychological healing principles. He spoke of “taking off “ parental injunctions in applying that principle. Last night, I… Continue reading Leave Home Psychologically

Beat Your Approval Addiction

Beat your approval addiction.  Screw what people say! Sounds harsh? It could save your life! Gigi, a dutiful daughter and medical student, was sharing with me how she grew up to be a “pleaser.” She derived much of her self worth from the approval of people around her. She’s so worried about keeping her parents… Continue reading Beat Your Approval Addiction

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