Why do you need to work on yourself?
A loved one – spouse, child, friend – hurt and betrayed you. It’s possibly a most difficult time of your life.
You want them to change but they don’t. So you say, “I’m not the problem. They’re the problem. They are the ones who need therapy, not me!”
I beg to disagree. Though you’re not responsible for the hurt or betrayal or wrong things they’re doing to you, you are in important relationship with them.
And they’re not doing the right things in your relationship. That’s a real, inescapable problem!
We humans are all imperfect. We all have blind spots. We are all works in progress. We all need good people to help us heal or become better persons.
The whole matter is a quality of life issue. By working on yourself, you increase the level of quality of life you live not only for your own but also for the people around you.
By working on yourself, you develop your emotional awareness, your emotional muscles, and your emotional vocabulary. As you do, you find yourself gaining.
By working on yourself, you maximize your chances that your relationship will be healed and reconciled, and stronger and happier on the other side.
Not every relationship is going exactly the same. Not every marriage or relationship is salvageable after a betrayal.
But by working on yourself… you empower yourself and care for yourself. You then become more attractive, stronger to minimize your own blind spots, and engage more intelligently both at present and in the future.
This then creates an environment that is most conducive to your loved one choosing to change and become better too.
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