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Why People Hide Their Feelings

Why do people hide their real feelings in relationship?

For two hearts to get connected, there needs to be a space between them to share each other’s feelings.

When that safe space is lacking, a person typically hides his or her feelings from the other.

It’s a common struggle among those in intimate relationship. This difficulty of sharing one’s real feelings to the other person.

Early on, people tend to be open and honest and expressive to each other. But as time goes by, two people may do stop communicating more deeply.

That includes hiding one’s true feelings. So when it continues indefinitely, two people inevitably find themselves drifting apart from each other.

Why do people hide their real feelings in relationship?

why people hide their feelings

Let’s explore why emotional detachment happens in relationships.

Lisa is a Filipino overseas nurse whose British boyfriend has been hiding his feelings from her in certain areas.

Understandably, she got confused because they started out so well in their relationship sharing their feelings to each other.

Upon her constant listening and observation, she found out that her boyfriend has “old fears.” They’re unprocessed pains that is brought to the relationship – either consciously or unconsciously.

Noted psychologist, Dr. Henry Cloud, writes:

“For some couples, it’s not the things they encounter in their marriage that keep them from being direct and open, it’s the things they bring to the marriage.”

Dr. Cloud continues,

“They carry fears from past experiences that have taught them that sharing is not a safe thing to do and something bad will happen if you are totally honest–such as abandonment, criticism, rejection, abuse, disapproval, anger, escalation, breakdown in connection, withdrawal, attack, or judgment. So they hold back from sharing, and as a result, intimacy suffers.”

This is helpful insight from Dr. Cloud. But there could also be a variety of other more reasons why people hide their feelings.

How about you?

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