My Online Psychotherapy Ph

Emerge or Merge

It’s a paradox. The more you get self aware, the more you get anxious.

That’s Bernadette’s situation. 

Years of exposures and struggles in her relationship with her Mom have always led her to “fuse” with her.

When her Mom gets sick, she feels sick too. When she gets angry, she too. When she’s anxious or having panic, Bernadette experiences the same way.

Dr. Irvin Yalom, a noted psychotherapist, wrote in his bestselling book, “Love’s Executioner,”

“Fusion eradicates anxiety in a radical fashion – by eliminating self awareness.”

A person, like Bernadette, who is “fusing” with her mother is in a merger, and is not being self-reflective.

The emerging “I” in self awareness dissolves into the merger of “We.”


One sheds anxiety or sense of isolation but loses one’s self.

Psychotherapy and a state of unhealthy fusion or merger with another are incompatible.

That’s because therapeutic work demands a questioning “I” for the emergence of self awareness that will serve as a true guide to one’s internal conflicts.


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Online psychotherapy