Ask me, “What’s a secret of long friendships?”
My answer is what writer Jeff Brown calls “imperfection tolerance.”
Brown writes that it’s one of the most reliable indicators of a friendship’s longevity.
That is, friendships that are the most likely to stay longer are those with an expansive and compassionate tolerance for each other’s imperfections.
Instead of turning away from one another because they are imperfect, real and faithful friends turn toward one another.
Instead of avoiding, dismissing, or shunning each other, they accept each other- warts and all.
Quite often, friendships fall apart because there is an insufficient supply of “Imperfection Tolerance” towards one another.
Perhaps you yourself have experienced this in your own relationships time and time again.
Jeff Brown explains,
“One person has no tolerance for their friend’s imperfect patterns, while simultaneously expecting all of theirs to be fully embraced. A sense of inequality sets in, as one friend feels entitled to complete acceptance, while never letting their friend off the hook.”
Brown says “it’s better to identify these imperfection patterns in your friendships early- it will save you lots of time and disappointment. Equality of compassion is the root of most long lasting friendships.”
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